On the very first day, Cooper said, "Let there be a new style of chan." And there was 1eden. Cooper called 1eden the holy land, and the shit chans that had gone before it He defecated on.
On the second day, Cooper made the boards and divided them into SFW and NSFW.
On the third day, Cooper decided He wasn't actually happy with 1eden and redesigned it all.
And He saw that it was good.
On the fourth day, Cooper created a controversial login system.
And He saw that it was good.
And Cooper blessed all the users and told them to be fruitful and multiply.
On the fifth day, Cooper redisigned everything again because He is a massive scrub.
And He saw that it was good. 
On the sixth day, Cooper created many funky new features for all the users and He created the first admins and mods.
And Cooper saw that it was good.
Cooper blessed the admins and mods and told them to be fruitful and multiply and He placed them within 1eden to reign terror over the users.
And Cooper saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very very good.
Thus the holy land of 1eden was finished.
And on the seventh day, Cooper rested Before redesigning the site several more times and changing everything so much that everyone got buttmad and went to find a new religion.

After forty days and thirty-five and a half nights, those who had fled and put behind them the cruel reign of Prince Peletos of the Kingdom of Undon, came to rest at a curious place in the delicious dessert known as Gyp's Watering Hole.